


Dear John

by katyb64



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Love Letters, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 00:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katyb64/pseuds/katyb64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of letters from Sherlock to John during the two years he was away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dear John,

You will not get this letter, and it is absolutely ridiculous that I am writing to you right now. Molly told me it would help with the change I am going through, some sort of therapeutic method. 

Molly is an idiot.

SH


	2. Chapter 2

Dear John,

Molly has informed me that my last letter was not correct (though apparently looking through a private letter is?). I am supposedly meant to share... _feelings_ in these messages. I feel... that this is utterly idiotic. What is the point in writing this if you are not going to read it? What is the point in speaking if you are not going to hear? I wish you could, of course... You always were a good listener.

SH


	3. Chapter 3

Dear John,

I've taken out two major parts of Moriarty's network. You would have loved it, John. Running in there, guns blazing... I could almost picture you there beside me. It would have gone a lot better if you had been. I would never say this, but you were always a better shot than I. Also, you probably would have pushed me out of the way... don't worry, just a scratch. They had the most terrible aim. Top of the right shoulder. If he’d been a better shot I could have mirrored you. He was only hired because the head of that particular faction fancied him. Always a mistake, fancying somebody. It’s entirely too distracting.

Mycroft forced me to go to a doctor to patch me up. You were better than that physician, she didn't do it right. A bit distracted I suppose, her daughter just informed her she was pregnant. She was very distressed about it, it seemed. Aren’t people usually happy about that sort of thing? Odd. I didn’t examine it further, it wasn’t interesting enough and the stitching was fascinating to watch. Besides all that, she didn't yell at me for being so reckless. I thought I hated it when you did that, but I suppose hate was too strong of a word.

Not that I was wrong. My perception has simply changed.

Oh, shut up.

SH


	4. Chapter 4

Dear John,

Moriarty's network is bigger than I ever imagined. It stretches around the entire globe. I fear I may be gone longer than I intended. Don't give up on me though, I'll be back. I know you haven't yet, you still believe in me. I've seen your blog and had Mycroft check up on you for me once or twice. He’s doing it anyway, of course, so I may as well make the best of it. It’s been a while since I’ve been in contact with him, however. Almost a year. I cut off communication from Molly ages ago. It wasn’t safe, she was too loose-lipped. I wouldn’t want you in harm’s way, obviously. That’s why I’m doing this. I hope you understand when I return. I think about it a lot, how I should reveal myself to you. I don't want it to be a solemn affair, it should be a happy occasion. Maybe I'll disguise myself in some way. I hope you won't be too mad, I couldn't stand it.

I've been on this hunt for so long... It is lonelier than I had anticipated. I suppose because I had gotten used to you. It's harder to be alone after you.

SH


	5. Chapter 5

Dear John

I almost died today. I was so careful, so cautious, but they just came out of nowhere. Ambushed me. I don't know why I'm writing this, I'm still in hiding, I should be keeping watch.

To be honest, I feel horribly anxious at the moment and speaking with you helps immensely, even if it's just my mind's version of you that doesn't actually respond.

I almost died, and the fiction I supplied you would have become reality. I never would have seen you again, John. That thought terrifies me more than I ever thought it would. When I return... when I return I won't leave your side. I will be safe, I'll keep us both safe. For a few days, at least. Wouldn't want us getting bored, would we? I'm in Greece at the moment, secret spy ring sort of business, surprisingly obvious for Moriarty... then again, he's dead, so they probably slacked off once he departed. I miss you, John, I really do. I hope I can see you soon. I think you would like Greece, though I remember the food doesn't quite agree with you. Still, it's beautiful. The ocean was the same hue as your eyes this morning, it was fascinating. Oh God, that was sentimental. What have you done to me, John?

SH


	6. Chapter 6

Dear John,

I love you. There, I've said it. I've been alone for two damn years with my thoughts, my thoughts about you, and there they are. I love you. Immensely, completely. I love the beat of your heart and the graying of your hair. I love every stupid thing you’ve ever said. It’s illogical and nonsensical, and my head aches when I think about it too much. Love is entirely unpleasant.

Not entirely, of course not entirely. I love you, which is certainly an improvement over the average type of love. Average love is for average people, and you are anything but. I think I could come to like it quite a bit, actually... That is, if you reciprocate.

I've been checking your blog, and I know you still believe in me, I know you care, but what does that tell me about your heart? Your innermost thoughts? Nothing. Perhaps if you were here I would know if you felt the same. Sometimes I wonder if I should have brought you with me but I always end up knowing I never would. Too dangerous to even breathe a word to you. I'm sorry, John, but I know you and if I had come forth... I fear you wouldn't be able to hold your tongue. Not that I don't trust you. I do, I so obviously do, but not about this, about Moriarty and my truth,. It's too close to your heart. I've seen you in a rage, and you admit things. I can't compromise this mission. You'll die. You can't die, my John. I won't allow it. I will tell you of my affections, when I return and it's just us again. I hope you love me too. I'm in Serbia at the moment, and I have to go off soon. I may be captured, unfortunately, but it shouldn't be for too long. If I do it's because it was necessary. I know this is it, the last strand of Moriarty's web. Then I can return to you. I can and I will and I'll never leave again.

SH

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU TO IVY MY WONDERFUL BETA  
> Shine like a black hole you beautiful son of a bitch  
> Also thanks to Jenn because you read it and said nice things and I love you


End file.
